Being Your Best Is Not About You

Everywhere you look people are pushing ways to become the best version of yourself—join this fitness program, eat these supplements, use these products, or take that course. You can’t avoid it. Getting caught up in the excitement of to get caught up in the excitement of all these possibilities. These people don’t even really know me, but here I am considering the keto diet and a new exercise program. In some way, we’re all searching to be better which can be good. But, what if being your best is not about you (or me)? How do you reconcile the desire to be your best with the reality that you can’t do it on your own?

Fighting to be your best

Amazingly, we simultaneously use our infinite resources to grow and learn while also comparing ourselves to a world full of people we don’t know in real life. Becoming your best does not happen when you’re fighting the feelings of inadequacy all the time.

Becoming a better version of ourselves and being confident is important for all of us. Especially as women, we’re especially attuned to our feelings and how we fit into the world around us. The downside is we also get hyper-focused on how we don’t fit also. If we don’t have someone to compare ourselves to, how do we gauge ourselves?

Confidence isn’t a new struggle. Even the apostle Paul faced backlash and doubt, to the point he addressed his credentials in 2 Corinthians.

“Are we beginning to commend ourselves again? Or do we need, as some do, letters of recommendation to you, or from you? You yourselves are our letter of recommendation, written on our hearts, to be known and read by all. And you show that you are a letter from Christ delivered by us, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.” 2 Corinthians 3:1-3

Paul, the apostle with an amazing testimony who was also a founder of the early church, finds himself being doubted. Not even his best was good enough for some people.

Expectations  |—-disappointment—-|  Experience

No matter how hard you work, you can never please everyone. Sometimes you don’t even live up to your own expectations.  How do you bridge the gap between expectations and experience without drowning in disappointment?

Purpose Guide Preview
Photo by Scott Webb on Unsplash

You can try to make it on your own

From what I can tell, you have two possible solutions. Either, you embrace the idea that being your best is not about you and start letting go of control, or you try to make it on your own. The first option is definitely the smart choice. Let’s be real though—we’ll try everything we can on our own first.

I’ve been trying the do-it-yourself method for quite a while. You can too if you want, but I’d advise not learning this lesson the hard way. Stop believing the work harder/make the right connections/learn more/become an amazing human hype! No amount of effort or self-awareness can transform you into the person you were meant to be.

“Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us sufficient to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.” 2 Corinthians 3:4-6

What’s your motivation? Do you want the credit for your success or do you want to be the best version of yourself? Clearly, you can’t have both. Acknowledging our human limitations requires us to embrace our need for God’s intervention. Without the Holy Spirit, we can’t even imagine what our best looks like.

Being your best is not about you

No matter how successful we are, there will always be a piece missing if we aren’t connected to the Holy Spirit. It’s like putting together a 1,000 piece puzzle with 900 pieces. The picture might be cool and you have a fairly good idea what it’s supposed to be like, but it’s not complete.

No matter who’s cheering you on (even if it’s someone cool like Rachel Hollis), don’t forget your true motivation. Showcasing God is always the end-game. Otherwise, you’ll always end up disappointed because we’re all imperfect people prone to disappoint each other.

Do all the things—encourage each other, learn more, work hard—but always remember your motivation. Don’t buy into the do-it-yourself/self-help hype and miss out on the amazing opportunities God has in store for you.


Live Confident–Sufficient in Christ, Bold, & Free.


Enjoy the full Confident series.

Being Your Best Is Not About You
Live More Confidently and Be Bold
Choose to Be Confident (even when you don’t feel it)


Each week I send out short emails with a devotion related to that week’s post and an update to keep us connected. I’d love to connect with you too. Subscribe now and you’ll get the devotions and new posts each week too.

Daily Reminders For Mamas Lead Magnet

Barrier-busting coaching for women ready to
OWN THEIR MOXIE and live their God-Given Purposes.