Coaching - Kelly Beckley Shank

What is Coaching?

October 16, 2023May 5, 2023 by Kelly Beckley Shank

Photo By Christina Wocintechchat Com On Unsplash

This is not the whistling-blowing type of coaching you remember from high school. Coach practitioners (professional coaches) help you clarify your desired outcomes, define your action steps, and measure your progress. Using active listening, encouragement, and open questions, your coach facilitates your progress. Professional coaching is an intentional conversation that empowers individuals and groups to … Read more

Barrier-busting coaching for women ready to
OWN THEIR MOXIE and live their God-Given Purposes.

🛑 telling us to quit our business, job, whatever you think is the source of our frustration, when we’re venting!

PSA: venting is not always a sign that we want (or need) to quit. And, when we don’t want to quit and just need to vent, telling us to quit is at minimum frustrating.

Next time someone needs to vent, consider what might be going on under the surface.

#WhatNotToSay #JustNeedToVentSometimes #BusinessWomenUnderstand

“It’s lonely at the top.” That’s what my dad warned.

Remember that time you felt alone and yearned for someone to care? Someone who understood?

You can be that person for the ones coming behind you. A mentor mindset encourages us to share our experiences and create space for those following our path. You are the support they need.

We learn from those ahead on life’s path and teach those following us.

Different people fill different needs.

Coaching isn’t always the answer. Sometimes you may be best served by a counselor, a consultant, or a mentor.

The most important thing is getting the help you need.

Current workshop prep status: I have a plan.

Now, to make supper and then type this into a real outline I can follow.

Loving this material!

If you’re local, join me Monday at 3 during @hagerstownstartupweek

What to do when all good things start feeling overwhelming?

If you’re thinking about the day or week or couple weeks ahead and feel overwhelmed. YOU’RE NOT ALONE!

I share a couple of the things we’re navigating in the next 3 weeks in this video. There’s so many good things and so many necessary things happening.

Individually each is exciting. All together, it feels like a lot before we even start.

What works for me - I go back to the lists I made. I choose important tasks and give them time in my bullet journal. I trust my priorities and do the next thing. And, I gave some of the graduation party tasks to the graduate!

What helps you make your way through all the good things?

What is coaching?

Professional coaching is an intentional conversation that empowers individuals and groups to
reach their potential – both personally and professionally.

Unlike other “coaching” which more closely resembles teaching or consulting, professional
coaches are client-centric and focus on client-based solutions.

Coaching about me helping you produce insights, greater personal awareness, changed behaviors, actions, and ultimately results that satisfy you.

Different people fill different needs.

Coaching isn’t always the answer. Sometimes you may be best served by a counselor, a consultant, or a mentor.

When you do great things - CELEBRATE 🎉

Honor your efforts. Invite others in. Celebrate.

This is what it looks like to celebrate a big win!

I called to tell my stepmom about a huge success in my coaching business and she suggested we meet up to celebrate.

Cupcakes for an exciting opportunity!

Life does not fit into neat little compartments.

It’s messy and loud and demanding and sometimes makes you (me) want to hide from all of it.

It’s multiple to-do lists vying for your attention, family and work and the other things you want to do pulling at you, and the standards you (and others) put on yourself.

And then the well pump dies, while your husband is away…

Let’s be honest. Everyone’s life is messy to some degree. Some of us are just better at hiding it.

Currently working in kitchen because of said well pump repair. Also, left stuff in office that would also be helpful right now.

Word of the day: Collaboration

Collaboration: getting over yourself and/or realizing you really don’t hate yourself so that you can invite someone else to use their unique gifts, knowledge, or general haven’t-been-trying-to-solve-this-forever-like-me freshness to solve a problem.

No Beckley daughter is going to lose to a point-of-sale system. Today, we beat the system together.

You don’t have to be the hero of everything all by yourself. Seriously, collaborate.

You’re not the only person who is tired of everything today.

Yes, we are fully capable of doing all the things coming at us. We just need a break.

Doing all things make a person tired.

Honestly, I don’t even want to do the thing I prioritized and put on my list for today. So, I’m taking a break and sending you this message to encourage you too. Sometimes we need to take a break. Sometimes we need to know we’re not the only you feels this way.

You’re not the only one.

Accountability and Feedback - 2 ways to invite others into your work

Because a mentor was going to check in, I got an important task done today.

By visiting a friend this afternoon, I got amazingly helpful feedback on my upcoming group coaching series. Now, I can serve my clients even better.

There are so many ways to include others in your journey. Who can you partner with?

Happy Monday! What you do this morning, sets the tone for your week.⁠
⁠
Currently, I'm on a plane headed back from visiting family, but I don’t have the luxury of a lazy day flying. In 3 days I leave for a work trip. Today has to be productive, even in my tiny airplane seat. I took some time to map out my week and picked stuff that is tray table doable.
⁠
You can do the same and eliminate the decision distraction.⁠
⁠
1. List out your deadlines - What do you owe people this week? What appointments do you have? What do you want to get done because it's been hanging around for way too long?⁠

2. Identify tasks that help others make progress - Are you holding others back on joint projects? What can you do to help someone else make progress and move everyone forward?⁠

3. Determine what you need to be successful - Ask for the information you need. Order supplies. Get things moving now so when you're ready, you have everything you need.⁠

4. Get started. Nothing happens until you start.⁠
⁠
BONUS: If you're struggling to start, pick the thing you've been putting off. You'll feel like a rockstar when it's finally done. ⁠
⁠
(Spent a little time working from my sister-in-law's "treehouse" for the last few days.)

There are no overnight success stories.⁠
⁠
Do the hard work.⁠
Make the hard choices.⁠
Sacrifice today for a better tomorrow.⁠
Try.⁠
Fail.⁠
Learn.⁠
Try again.

CELEBRATE YOUR SUCCESSES!⁠
⁠
On Saturday morning, I taped a congrats balloon and fringe on our sliding glass door while Brandon read his bible study. It was April 1, 2023, a day we needed to celebrate.⁠
⁠
On April 1, 2003, he signed the papers and we took on a boat-load of responsibility and a big loan as the second generation owners of his family business. 20 YEARS!⁠
⁠
Let's be honest, not many businesses last 20 years. Even fewer last 39 and successfully transition into the second generation. I'm proud of Brandon and what we've accomplished.⁠
⁠
We're celebrating...⁠
the big wins and landing hard-to-get accounts,⁠
having dealers that his dad set up 30+ years ago,⁠
hitting milestones,⁠
paying off that big purchase loan,⁠
making it through a big failure and closing a retail store,⁠
trying new things and learning,⁠
teaching our kids how to work hard,⁠
things not being anything like we planned,⁠
doing this together.⁠
⁠
What are you celebrating?

Strong women -⁠
may be we them,⁠
may we raise them.⁠
⁠
I think of my daughters on the days I dream.⁠
I think of my daughters on the days I want to quit.⁠
I think of who I am created to be.⁠
I think of who they are created to be.⁠
I pray they know how much they're loved.⁠
I pray my example is one of a real person who is trying to be better.⁠
I pray for their futures and who they will become.⁠
⁠
I pray we stand together as we push towards God's purposes.⁠
⁠
Becoming is a lifelong process, full of highs and lows. And yet, it's worth everything because in the journey we discover who we're meant to be.

It’s not about flowers.

Buy flowers or don’t. Want gifts or not. The gifts and cards and flowers aren’t the important part.

What really matters are people and relationships. Do the ones you love know it? Are you showing your appreciation and gratitude on regular days?

After 22 years of marriage, we’ve created the relationship that works for us. It’s honest and devoted to our shared goals. It’s not about me or him. It’s about us.

I bought myself flowers at Aldi on Monday because I wanted to.

We exchanged cards. The kids got revamped candy jars and a good homecooked meal. We sat and talked together. And, Brandon sanded drywall in the girls’ bathroom for them. It was a good day.

The secret of marriage is simple to know but at times hard in practice - choose every day to unapologetically encourage and lovingly challenge each other, with faith in God and devotion to each other as your foundation.

It’s Friday evening. I’m still finishing up some work that needs to be done before I travel next week.

And then I looked out the window at this beautiful view.

Taking a moment to look around is good for the soul.

Happy Friday friends.

Happy Birthday to our oldest daughter! 18 years ago today, she made us parents.

Can’t wait to see what the year ahead holds.

There are a multitude of ways I miss the mark every day. I’m not perfect. I’m not even the person I strive to be.

What I am is someone who is trying to do her best and keep all the plates spinning.

I do my best for work.
I try to support my kids’ interests and push them to be strong and independent.
I love and challenge and help my husband.
I try not to let too long go between texts with my friends.
I pray because some days that’s all I can do.

I try to do my best each day.

And on the days I mess up, lose my temper, or completely miss the mark, I apologize and try to do better the next time. It’s all we can do. Keep trying to do better. Take 1 step closer to who God created you to be.

This morning, I also hauled cattle for the kids, managed to unload them without incident, and am about to take Kid #3 to an orthodontist consult.

#RealLife

What you do doesn’t have to make sense to someone else.

Case in point…

5 days ago, I was on stage at convention.

Today, we’re trimming hooves on show cattle.

In between it all, I’m working in the office, doing sponsor updates, and trying to calculate how long I can put off grocery shopping before my family rebels.

Do the things you’re meant to do, not what someone else thinks you should do.

This is what hope and excitement and relief look like!

This lady just hired a new employee. I can’t wait to see all the amazing work we’ll do for the orphanage.

I can do most anything but I can’t do everything all at once.

For the regular days...⁠
⁠
Yesterday, we celebrated the mamas. But I have some hesitance about the day on behalf of those for whom the day is hard. For those who will face disappointment, longing, or loneliness.⁠
⁠
Here's to regular days, the ones that come right after the "important" days, the days we might feel overlooked or unappreciated.⁠
Here's to Monday mornings when you get up with the sun and get to work, whatever that looks like for you.⁠
Here's to having hard conversations and making hard decisions.⁠
Here's to doing what needs done, whatever that means and wherever it takes you.⁠
⁠
Here's to doing what you're meant to do.⁠
⁠
[Caroline is traveling with me this week in Guatemala. She's my assistant on this trip.]

With so many thoughts and ideas running through your mind each day, how do you decide what's important?⁠
⁠
Feeling overwhelmed by ideas of things you could or should be doing, coaching might be the key to helping you identify what's most important and most likely to help you move forward.⁠
⁠
Let's talk. Schedule a free 15-minute discovery call to learn more about how coaching can help you over barriers and pursue your purpose.

Sometimes the extra ordinary parts of life are the ones with the most extraordinary value.⁠
⁠
years spent praying for a hopeless situation⁠
doing the thankless tasks, again⁠
showing up just like every other day⁠
⁠
faithful, humble, dependable = EXTRAORDINARY⁠
⁠
Be proud of the extraordinary impact you're creating during the extra ordinary parts of your life.

Take the picture.⁠
⁠
When you have the chance to take a picture-do it. (meant in the most appropriate, non-stalking way)⁠
⁠
Last week I was digging into our photo throve for the orphanage and found this one. I had no idea it was even taken, but I'm glad it was. I have very few photos of myself working in Guatemala. ⁠
⁠
This is what I love to do - hold babies, give their mamas a break, slip into the background of normal life.⁠
⁠
Take the picture. Capture the memory.

Today's the start of a new week.⁠
⁠
We have the opportunity to make it great. Although we cannot determine everything we'll endure, we choose how we respond.⁠
⁠
Are we facing challenges with confidence and grace?⁠
Do we believe in who we are created to be?⁠
Are we willing to admit when we're wrong and start over?⁠
⁠
The only way to become who you want to be is to choose who you are today.⁠
⁠
Who inspires you?

Sometimes, your best answer is "no." ⁠
⁠
"No" to an opportunity you would normally jump at.⁠
"No" to something you've been working towards.⁠
"No" to the additional good thing.⁠
⁠
"No" isn't necessarily Never, maybe it's Not Right Now or No Longer What I Want.⁠
⁠
Sometimes "No" feels like a loss, a discouraging reminder of the time you don't have or opportunities you feel are passing by. You're disappointed, angry, and tired of waiting your turn.⁠
⁠
Even if the best answer is "No," explore what's beneath the surface. Sometimes your best direction is found in what lies beneath.

What would you see if you slowed down?⁠
⁠
This is a shame-free, judgment-free question brought to us by these berries.⁠
⁠
I walk the path between my house and the office multiple times every work day. Always on mission, my goal is to get where I'm going as fast as possible. About half the time on a return trip, I'm rushing to my truck because a child needs picked up.⁠
⁠
Imagine my surprise when I spotted these beautiful berries. In the middle of a very cold winter, they're showing off.⁠
⁠
Who knows how long they've been there? Not me.⁠
⁠
Seems like the time I spend walking between my house and office is a perfect place to start looking and listening.⁠
⁠
#SimpleSpiritualPractices #StartYourDayRight #MindsetMatters

With all you're facing today, what small choices could increase your confidence and decrease anxiousness or stress?⁠
⁠
When life comes unhinged (which is almost always directly aligned with my workload exploding), my normal response goes something like this:⁠
⁠
Work, work more, eliminate all things fun, stop exercising because there's work to be done, stress eat, and spend less time reading my bible.⁠
⁠
It's not great, but I know my habits.⁠
⁠
The 3 things I eliminate first are the 3 things I need the most: Soul-Care, Self-Care, and Connection.⁠
⁠
This time, I'm choosing a different approach. ⁠
⁠
When you're facing a period of overwhelming deadlines, projects, and expectations, what helps keep you grounded?

We, fiery ones, need our thoughtful, quiet friends.

Heather is such a quiet, steady soul who brings a freshness to my life and all those around her. She reminds me to look around when I feel hurried. She always looks to God.

She’s the sweetest soul who lives to help others see the beauty in their stories.

But, did Henry Ford ever get locked out of his password manager?⁠
⁠
Let's just say I was completely overwhelmed with obstacles for the 4 hours my password manager was down. I'm too old to remember all those passwords!⁠
⁠
Despite the huge obstacle in front of me, I pivoted and sent out tax receipts for the orphanage. Then, I answered emails via phone. And finally, I ran errands just to get out of the office and mark a few things off my list. (It wasn't the best 4 hours of my life, nor was I the best version of myself. Let's just be real.)⁠
⁠
And now, I'm back in the office and planning for a better day tomorrow.⁠
⁠
Everyone has bad days. Sometimes we handle them well. Sometimes we don't. Either way, try again. One bad day doesn't define you.

If you've made any progress, learned any lessons, considered a change, maintained your sanity, or are able to get things done in a reasonable timeframe - CONGRATS!! YOU'RE WINNING THE GAME OF LIFE DURING A PANDEMIC.⁠
⁠
None of us know how to do this right.⁠
⁠
2 years ago, I thought I was on my way to publishing a book. I had an amazing meeting with an acquisitions editor and fabulous follow-up. ⁠
⁠
I haven't looked at my book proposal in more than a year. Some days I forget about it altogether. BUT, I've realized how the changes I made in 2020 and 2021 are preparing me to write a better version of that book and carry it's message in the way that best helps my readers.⁠
⁠
Yes, I was disappointed. In fact, some days I wonder if my one chance evaporated 2 years ago. I try not to wallow in those moments too long because moreover I'm trusting God will use me in ways I can't imagine.

When you find yourself drowning in doubt, remember why you started.⁠
⁠
I stumbled across this picture from 2 years ago. I was in Guatemala for the opening of a school we helped build in a rural village.⁠
⁠
It took 3 long, hard years to build the school.⁠
⁠
The kids enjoyed their new school for about 2 months before it was closed due to the pandemic. ⁠
⁠
Some days I wonder what good a new school is when children are still learning from home 2 years later. ⁠
⁠
How much more important will this building be when they return? We built this school to give these children an opportunity to learn. When they return, this building will be more important than we ever imagined.

Something was "off" in 2021.⁠
⁠
My productivity was high. No matter how much I worked and how many tasks were checked off, an undercurrent of unrest persisted.⁠
⁠
One night, my husband asked why I hadn't been reading lately. Normally, I would consume multiple books a month. Netflix had replaced books on my nightstand, also shoving aside my desire to think outside work projects and work hours.⁠
⁠
I was tired, exhausted actually. ⁠
⁠
To the best of my ability, my exhaustion was hidden from clients. Their work was always completed on time. ⁠
⁠
My work was willingly delayed. In some ways, making a conscious choice to slow my plans was healthy, but in other ways it was a symptom of other issues.⁠
⁠
I'm a thinker, a planner, and a doer. But the last 2 years have overwhelmed my strengths and coping mechanisms, leaving me disoriented. ⁠
⁠
For all the things I cannot change, this one thing I can - I will go back to reading and challenging myself mentally. (but I believe I'll schedule some of my reading during work hours)⁠
⁠
📚 Currently reading: 2 books to challenge me professionally and 1 to ground me personally⁠
⁠
What's on your reading list?

All the parts. That's what matters most about you.⁠
⁠
The "successful" parts - wonderful.⁠
The "parts in progress" - fantastic.⁠
The "ordinary," "different," or the "parts other people don't quite get" - they're all part of what makes you so unique and absolutely amazing.⁠
⁠
Here's a few of those "other" parts of me.⁠
⁠
Show Mom who does hair in a barn with a cow brush and tail adhesive.⁠
Problem solver who builds shelves because she can't take boots all over the garage floor.⁠
Impromptu IT guru making a remote board meeting happen.⁠
Frequent flyer who thought missionaries were strange but ended up working in Guatemala and loving it!⁠
⁠
41 years in and I can honestly say I'm only just not starting to appreciate how all the pieces fit together.⁠
⁠
#BePresent #PresentOverPerfect #PracticingPresent #SlowDownAndJustBe⁠
#EnneagramCoach #TheShankCo #BusinessYourWay #TheBusinessOfCreativity #Identify #Clarify #Transform #LeadershipCoach #YourPurpose⁠
#Purposeful #DoTheWork #WorkingOnMe

I’m not sure how to describe Whitney. She genuinely cheers for everyone and wants them to do and be their best. She’s honest about life and how she finds strength in God, especially during hard times.

Whitney has great style. She’s fun. She will sing and dance in her car on video in between throwing down biblical truth.

She loves life, people, and God so much it shows even when she doesn’t realize it.

Go check out my friend @whitneypputnam

NEVER TOO OLD - read that again and think about it.⁠
⁠
At 29 with 2 kids barely in elementary school, you are not too old to take up running, piano, a new language, whatever it is you think is a selfish endeavor - you have not missed your window.⁠
⁠
At 36 while running here and there between practices and meetings, you are not too old to go back to school. You're not too old to go back to school for something completely unrelated to what you did before or what you're doing now.⁠
⁠
At 47, you are not too old to decide that life's too short and what you really want to do is take a risk on turning the dream you've been too afraid to share into something real. ⁠
⁠
If there's anything we've been shown over the last 2 years, it's the need to change, adapt, and pivot.⁠
⁠
Why not change, adapt, and pivot towards the things God is pushing you towards?⁠
⁠
#FemaleEntrepreneur #YourBusinessCoach #OwnYourMoxie #SmallBusinessWizard #MadeForMore #SmallBusiness #TheShankCo #BusinessCoaching #BusinessYourWay

NEVER TOO OLD - read that again and think about it.⁠
⁠
At 29 with 2 kids barely in elementary school, you are not too old to take up running, piano, a new language, whatever it is you think is a selfish endeavor - you have not missed your window.⁠
⁠
At 36 while running here and there between practices and meetings, you are not too old to go back to school. You're not too old to go back to school for something completely unrelated to what you did before or what you're doing now.⁠
⁠
At 47, you are not too old to decide that life's too short and what you really want to do is take a risk on turning the dream you've been too afraid to share into something real. ⁠
⁠
If there's anything we've been shown over the last 2 years, it's the need to change, adapt, and pivot.⁠
⁠
Why not change, adapt, and pivot towards the things God is pushing you towards?⁠
⁠
#FemaleEntrepreneur #YourBusinessCoach #OwnYourMoxie #SmallBusinessWizard #MadeForMore #SmallBusiness #TheShankCo #BusinessCoaching #BusinessYourWay