You’ve heard people tell you how Jesus saves and the Holy Spirit guides every part of your life, but in the middle of absolute chaos, it’s hard to believe. Based on your life experience, the only person you can rely on is yourself. I get it. People let us down all the time and we get jaded. Instead of getting hurt or disappointed again, we work harder and try to do everything ourselves. Let’s get real. You can’t do it all yourself. Strong women ask for help, even when they’d prefer not to.
When was the last time your life felt out of control? You were trying to juggle everything all at once and even the little things felt overwhelming. A month ago? Last week? Yesterday?
Somehow, I’ve made it to 38 and I’m still trying to do it all by myself. When life gets hectic, instead of asking for help, I try to work harder. I get up earlier and stay up later, basically just working all day long. Between working and caring for our family, I become somewhat of a hyper-stressed mama zombie—everything is getting done but I’m in a bad mood, exhausted, and disconnected from everyone, including God.
“Yet it was kind of you to share my trouble.” Philippians 4:14
What I avoid most is asking for help. Asking for help feels like failing or being irresponsible. Yeah, I know it’s a ridiculous lie, but it keeps me in the cycle of overwhelm, wishing someone would help but unwilling to admit I need it.
If you could see inside my mind, there would be multiple film reels going all the time. One critiques my every thought and action in real-time. Another tries to speak the truth and combat the critic. And the final one is just trying to hold everything together.
You have times when you feel alone, overwhelmed, and disappointed in life and yourself too. Admit it, we can’t do everything on our own. Even though we pride ourselves on getting things done, connecting with each other is infinitely better than being pathologically independent.
Choosing to engage
Admitting you need help and then asking for it feels excruciating. If only someone would see us and help without us asking. (Yeah, we’re still holding onto our issues a little bit.)
“in the beginning…no church entered into partnership with me in giving and receiving, except only you.” Philippians 4:15
Friendship is really a volley of giving and taking. There will be times when we give abundantly to others, creating the emotional high that acknowledges our gifts. But, there will be plenty of other times when we need to receive. If we don’t figure out how to give AND receive, we’ll wear ourselves and our friends out.
Show up without asking for permission. Let each other in, even when your ego would prefer to shut everyone out and pretend it’s all under control. We can either open ourselves up to each other and struggle together or slowly wear out alone. I’m not sure about you, but being lonely hasn’t proved successful so far.
Strong women ask for help
Asking for help doesn’t make us weak or lazy. I know it’s hard to believe. My inner critic likes to remind me of my weaknesses all the time. One of the loudest things I hear is that I should be able to do so much more on my own. But, it’s a lie for me and it’s a lie for you.
Strong women ask for help. Whether you need someone to actually help you with a task or someone to listen without judgment, we all need help.
It’s time to ask for help. Being your best means figuring out what you do well, and then learning to ditch the shame you feel for not being able to do everything yourself.
You are strong. You’re becoming even more resilient as you press forward through life’s ups and downs. Show everyone around you that strong women ask for help, and by doing so they are even stronger together.
Be Resilient as you allow God to be your strength.
Enjoy the full Resilient series
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